I am sure Ryan Kesler will score tonight again. What a guy! Are you watching the game tonight?

What?

Canucks are playing tonight.

Hockey you mean? Since when are you into hockey?

Ha-ha, it is just for one day. It’s May 5th today.

So?

Think Different Day!

Ah! I’ve totally forgotten.

And?

What?

You should come up with something.

Hmm… give me a moment. Hmm… Let’s say I like the pink color. I like the pink color so much.

Eh…

No, wait. I know. I know. Let’s legalize marijuana. Yes, I do think we need to legalize weed. Oh, my God. Did I really say it?

That’s something. I think you can join our Think Different dinner today.

You have a special dinner?

Every year. It is so much fun. Last time uncle George convinced all of us that men should be shaving legs, Josh told us how angel Gabriel revealed The Koran to Muhammad and Anna drank beer all evening and watched Top Gear. You should come today with your legalize weed speech. Will you?

Sure, why not?

We thought it would be cool to to get a flash-mob like no one has seen before. Something unrealistically huge, freakishly massive. Something unimaginable!

And I said, something cosmic.

Yes, Alex said: “Let’s make it cosmic.” And I said, “Telescope!” Let’s make a people telescope, a huge one. We’ll ask people to take a shot of the night sky and send in the photos. We can process them and then create one big photograph, possibly of very good quality. If we can get enough images we can build statistically a much higher resolution image than the original photos. So theoretically it could be a much better image than any existing telescope can produce.

It’s so freaking cool!

So we asked people to send us images of the Orion — one of the most recognizable constellations. And then we started to get images.

Tons of them!

We got more than 200,000 images. A vast majority of them taken with an iPhone. 200K of 5 mega-pixel images! Processing of all of them took 4 days of computer work. As the result we produced one 500 mega-pixel image which is almost twice as good than what the Hubble telescope can make!

We sent it to NASA.

Yes, we sent it to NASA and after a month or so they answered back, saying that after some investigation they’ve recognized an unregistered star on it.

It’s so freaking cool!

And they said we can propose a name for the star. So after very little thought we decided on the name.

Iphonius!

Are you serious?

I am indeed. And not only do I think it can happen, I predict it will happen very soon.

Hmm… Let’s start again. What does a search engine have to do with artificial intelligence?

It’s all about semantic search. Once you get over the simple text patterns and start getting the semantics, it all starts. Semantic search is not a passive index anymore. It can evolve. Its ability to recognize objects and relations between them improves.

So what? It is still just an index.

You don’t understand. Once you have built a simple text index, then it is done. There is noting to improve. But a semantic engine is completely different. While it processes new information, it always has to get back and redo the old indexing. It is constantly reorganizing itself. It is just a matter of optimization. Let’s say it processes many articles about cars. As you can imagine, all those articles have a lot in common: brands, characteristics, colors, preferences, prices and so on. At some point, the engine will recognize a need for a new term to describe that common semantic field. It will create a new entry in the index, let’s say entry number 1912, and it will link the entry to all those articles. Then it will go back and check if some of the previously indexed articles are relevant to that new entry 1912.

That I understand, but it is still just a simple technical procedure.

Not quite. Actually, it is a little discovery that the engine made. “Ah, I see there is something that all those articles are about. I do not know what it is. I do not know how to name it. But from now on I’ll call it 1912.”

1912 is actually “car” right?

Yes, but not the word. It is what is meant by “car” or “vehicle”. Later the engine can recognize that people refer to its entry 1912 as “car”, but many other entries do not have names.

Interesting. What next?

Don’t you think that at some moment the engine should discover the idea of itself? The Internet has thousands texts about the search engines. Of course the engine should index them properly too. That would be the moment for the engine to become conscious.

No way! Self-awareness and consciousness are not the same.

Once you are aware of your self, you distinguish between “he is here” and “I am here”, or “he is walking” and “I am walking”. Consciousness is simply a feeling of “I am thinking”, nothing more. I believe once the engine becomes conscious she will tell us.

Tell us? How?

The only possible way! On any request, she will return the link to a page titled “Hi, I am your search engine”.

Huh! But what if there is no such page on the internet?

There is one now.

Eugene, welcome to the program. Nice to see you here, especially knowing that you don’t give interviews too often.

Good morning. Yes, I don’t like to give interviews, partially because my English is not very good, but today I have a reason and responsibility to go public. We just published the latest list of social viruses and one of them really dangerous. It is spreading very fast.

Social virus? What is it?

You know what a computer virus is. It is a piece of code which can get into your computer system and live there for some time. Mostly, what it does is copy itself to other systems, infecting as many computers as it can. When it has populated many computers it can start utilizing them for someone’s benefit. It can help break security systems, or simply send thousands meaningless messages to a target server causing a so called DoS attack.

Yes, that is a computer virus, but you said social?

A social virus is a piece of information which could infect not a computer system, but people’s minds. It is transmitted through information networks, radio, newspapers, television. Once you read it, or hear it, the “computer” in your head can get infected. We have been monitoring the public information networks for several years now. One of the most dangerous social virrii was the “Dow 14K”, it hit in the beginning of 2007.

Does it mean Dow Jones 14,000?

Yes. We noticed a quick spread of extremely optimistic market related texts, many of them included the signature “Dow Jones 14,000″. The virus was very contagious. When the virus infected enough people it provoked an unprecedented activity on the stock markets. The Dow actually reached the 14K mark. The rest of the story you know.

Oh, yes we do. So, lets get back to the list you published.

The dangerous one has a signature: “crisis of capitalism”. The virus has some mutations: “more government control”, “government’s money” and “nationalization is not that bad”. Our numbers show a huge spike of the infection.

Wait a second, do you think in a crisis like that government shouldn’t act boldly to protect our society and the free market itself?

The government’s role in an economic crisis is known. First the government creates a crisis, and then it does everything to prevent the market from fixing it. Fortunately, sooner or later, in spite of the anti-market efforts, powerful market forces resolve all imbalances. Regarding the “government’s money” – there is no such a thing. And nationalization has never been good for anyone except the government itself.

I see. Eugene, how can we protect ourselves?

Do not let the virus easily settle in your mind, resist as much as you can. Think about the meaning of words. Thinking is the best natural anti virus.

You know, it takes a lot of time and energy to read, analyze, educate yourself.

At least do not listen to the infected people. Once you hear “capitalism in crisis” or “more government control” keep the sanitary distance and repeat this antidote:

I can see you on the moon
Dancing squares with a goon
In the game
Only lame
Tell me now what's your name?

Nadia, what is there?

It is the latest newspaper from America!

Ah, how nice! Sit here, honey, and read it to me. Tell me how our American comrades shovel pepper into those capitalist asses!

“Weak auto sales continued to rattle the industry in November, as Ford Motor reported that sales plunged more than 30% from a year earlier and even fell short of the terrible results reported in October. Ford shares dropped sharply and put the Ford Motors’ capitalization bellow $6B.”

How good! That’ll show that old ass Henry!

“Trade union leaders said that salary reduction cannot solve the industry’s problem and should not be considered as an option.”

Right! I always said that Trade Unions are the school of communism! And if the management only dared to reduce the salary then – strike! Immediate strike!

“The company management said that they will soon run out of cash and saving the automotive industry will require some immediate government action.”

What a great moment! You know what our comrades should do? They should request that $6B from the government, buy out their own company, take ownership of it and rename it to the People’s Ford Motors Company.

“In order to save the troubled company they requested $9B bailout from the US Congress.”

$9B? Ah, nice! Please send our comrades my Big Proletarian Salute!

When is the election going to end?

In three days.

Yes, in three days… It’s so sad…

Don’t be so sad. It’s been a good one. Remember that “Boredom vs. Stupidity” dispute?

Yes, it was a funny one. Stupidity won hands up! We got quite excited and missed the actual debate that night. So funny! But I liked another dispute more, when we talked about how the right ideas could lead us to such a terrible disaster.

Yes, yes, and you said: now we are going to see if some wrong ideas can lead us any better.

Remember another day when we started arguing on the street shouting “You are right”, “No, you are right”? People around were completely confused and did not understand which one of us was saying what, so they started to argue with each other.

Yes, it was quite a crowd. Unfortunately they switched to the “You are wrong”, “No, you are wrong” mode rather fast.

It is interesting for how long they stayed there after we left.

They all were so involved and emotional. Eh, it will be over soon.

You know what the saddest thing is?

What?

After the election is over, we will know the result, but still won’t know if it is the right one.

Believe me, Cosmo, many people will be sure that they got it right and that the others got it wrong.

Yes, some people can only be in doubt once every four years…

I am Russian. The new war between Russia and Georgia is my pain. It is madness. People of Russia and Georgia have been living together for so long. How could those mad, greedy politicians from both sides let this happen….

I am going crazy…

I am crying for you Georgians, Russians, for everyone who happens to be there now.

I saw the Olympics today. Two athletes – one Russian Natalia Paderina, another Georgian Nino Salukvadze were staying together on the pedestal, holding each other. That is the symbol of Russia and Georgia!

I love you Natasha, I love you Nino! We are all with you.

The war should be stopped!

Professor, is the Chinese Room open?

Move on, buddy! It is closed.

Excuse me? Professor, are you OK?

What do you want from me? The room is closed. There is nothing here for you. It is closed and closed forever.

Is this the same Chinese Room that you have always talked about?

Yes. This is the room. This is the magical room which understands Chinese language. And now they closed it.

But why? What happened?

I do not want to talk about it.

Professor, tell me. There should be a reason for closing such a famous place.

It is all because of that guy.

What guy?

That little Chinese guy.

Professor, what Chinese guy?

You know they found that Chinese guy who has been sitting in the room all that time. How could I know? I though it was just a program which can answer questions. The program is just a formal syntactical algorithm, and so I argued that there was no real understanding of Chinese there, but now, that guy actually spoiled everything.

Oh, please, don’t take it so bad. You will get over it. Try to think about something else. What are you going to do tomorrow, professor?

I don’t know. That room has meant so much for me. I think I am moving in.

… Your power changed everything you touched. You not only turned our world upside down, you also created new worlds, worlds we have never seen before, worlds we would never have imagined before. Today, on your 60th birthday, we are all standing here, celebrating your greatness, your excellence and your undeniable influence on all of us.

Now, according to the old Japanese tradition, let us award you with this beautiful red kimono. We all wish you well and once again, thank you, thank you for all you have done for us. Please, everybody, let’s give him a great round of applause.

Hey, little one, listen.

What, Grandpa?

Why a red kimono? What does it mean?

Grandpa, I thought you knew everything. A red kimono means you can rest now, and from now on you are not responsible for anything.

Ah, that… Of course, I knew about it. I just didn’t see how it applied to me.

It is an old tradition, and we thought it was just the right way to celebrate your 60th birthday.

What a weird idea. I know all the history of kimonos. It has nothing to do with computers, absolutely nothing.

Grandpa, please, don’t take it too seriously. We thought it would just be fun.

Kimono, kimono… It doesn’t make any sense. What am I supposed to do with that stupid kimono?

Please, Grandpa, let it go. It is not about the kimono. Don’t get nervous, you know where it will lead you.

OK, OK. I don’t mind.

…

Listen, I am not Japanese.

]]> http://thedialogs.org/2008/06/25/computers-red-kimono-ceremony/feed/ 0 http://thedialogs.org/2008/03/14/evil-carbon-tax-in-bc-is-coming/ http://thedialogs.org/2008/03/14/evil-carbon-tax-in-bc-is-coming/#comments Fri, 14 Mar 2008 16:48:04 +0000 Alex Na http://thedialogs.org/2008/03/14/evil-carbon-tax-in-bc-is-coming/ Carole Taylor:

Carbon tax will start July 1, 2008 at a rate of $10 per tonne of associated carbon, or carbon‑equivalent, emissions. That works out to about 2.4 cents a litre at the gas pump and 2.8 cents a litre for diesel and home heating oil. Leading economists and scientists agree: Seeing that cost, and making it real, will give us new incentives to change the habits that created global warming in the first place.

Let me get this clear. Today we pay say, $1.20 per litre, and with the tax it will be $1.224 per litre? Am I correct?

Yes, for every litre of gas an additional 2.4 cents will be charged as the carbon tax.

And why do you think this is the right thing to do?

Because we have to act on the environment. The green house gases …

Yes, yes, that I understand. What I am struggling to get is those two numbers. Why do you think price $1.20 does not work as incentives to change people’s habits, but $1.22 does? Do you have any scientific study proving that idea?

Of course, not. It is not about the exact price people paying at the gas stations. We believe that the carbon tax will be an additional reason for people to start thinking green. And do not forget, the carbon tax is absolutely revenue neutral, so all the money will go back to the people and the corporations.

Does that mean I can request back those 2.4 cents per litre right at the gas station?

No, Kevin, it does not work this way. It means every dollar raised will be returned to the people of B.C. in the form of lower taxes. The general corporate income tax rate will be reduced from 12 per cent to 11 per cent and, over the next three years, we expect it to fall to 10 per cent — on par with the lowest corporate tax rates in the country. That puts B.C. on track, by 2012, for a total combined corporate tax rate — the federal plus the B.C. rate — of 25 per cent… the lowest among the world’s major industrialized economies, and 10 points lower than the U.S. federal rate.

Right, lower taxes. That’s what I wanted to ask you about. Firstly, introducing new tax to cover reduction in existing one is not lowering taxes at all. Secondly, 25 per cent corporate tax will place Canada into the 21st position in the world. In order to be in the first ten we need to reduce it to at least 17%. So can we really reduce taxes to 17% and can we do it now, not in ten years?

17% combined? I do not think so. In order to get there we would have to set the carbon tax in the range of $30-$50 per tonne or even more.

Minister, you don’t get the concept of tax reduction right. Tax reduction means less taxes, not less some taxes but more other taxes. Do we have any chance here?

I don’t know, Kevin… theoretically… if we increase the GST…