Computer’s Red Kimono Ceremony
Master of Ceremonies:
… Your power changed everything you touched. You not only turned our world upside down, you also created new worlds, worlds we have never seen before, worlds we would never have imagined before. Today, on your 60th birthday, we are all standing here, celebrating your greatness, your excellence and your undeniable influence on all of us.
Now, according to the old Japanese tradition, let us award you with this beautiful red kimono. We all wish you well and once again, thank you, thank you for all you have done for us. Please, everybody, let’s give him a great round of applause.
Computer:
Hey, little one, listen.
Geek:
What, Grandpa?
Computer:
Why a red kimono? What does it mean?
Geek:
Grandpa, I thought you knew everything. A red kimono means you can rest now, and from now on you are not responsible for anything.
Computer:
Ah, that… Of course, I knew about it. I just didn’t see how it applied to me.
Geek:
It is an old tradition, and we thought it was just the right way to celebrate your 60th birthday.
Computer:
What a weird idea. I know all the history of kimonos. It has nothing to do with computers, absolutely nothing.
Geek:
Grandpa, please, don’t take it too seriously. We thought it would just be fun.
Computer:
Kimono, kimono… It doesn’t make any sense. What am I supposed to do with that stupid kimono?
Geek:
Please, Grandpa, let it go. It is not about the kimono. Don’t get nervous, you know where it will lead you.
Computer:
OK, OK. I don’t mind.
…
Listen, I am not Japanese.
