Google, Please Filter This
Google Support:
… Yes, we now have an automatic filtering system which can recognize illegal use of the original content. It works with all the possible media: text, audio and video.
Benny M.:
That filtering system, how does it do it?
Google Support:
It works this way. You provide us with your original content and we put it through our content indexing system. The system recognizes all the original patterns in your content and stores those patterns in our global index. After the indexing is done, every time someone tries to upload any piece of your content to the Internet, the system recognizes it and sets off an alarm.
Our following actions depend on how you want us to treat such attempts. We can either simply notify you or we can block the upload. We can also provide you with all the necessary information about the illegal posters. Such information would be used in case you decide to initiate some legal action against them.
Benny M.:
I don’t give a damn about the posters. The people who drive me nuts are those who mimic my tunes, my lyrics, my ring-tones, my ideas, every move I make. I’m sick of those impotent bastards incapable of making anything original. Can your system reveal them?
Google Support:
Yes, the system is designed to do just that: recognize the original patterns and build a global index of them. Once we have your content scanned, we provide you with the detailed report of all the use of your original ideas. Please upload your content through our uploading web service.
Benny M.:
OK! With pleasure!
Google Support:
Now, wait a minute, until we finish the indexing. Oops…
Benny M.:
What?
Google Support:
I am sorry, we cannot index your content. Unfortunately it does not contain any original patterns. We can provide you with the detailed list of all the original sources used in it. Would you like me to e-mail you the list?
Benny M.:
… No.
